Sunday, 13 May 2012
Blog 9: A long gaze
Today is Mother’s day. When I count the days, I am surprised to find that I have left mother for 183 days. Actually, though mom always keeps garrulous around me before, I really miss her. When I recall the scene that mother and father saw me off in the airport, I remember a piece of prose which moved me for a long time: parents are predestinated to watch their children drift further and further away forever. It’s just like standing at one end of the road and looking at the child’s back until he or she eventually turns a corner and vanishes. It’s like sending a message: ‘Just stay there and fole with your eyes,’(我慢慢地、慢慢地了解到，所谓父女母子一场，只不过意味着，你和他的缘分就是今生今世不断地在目送他的背影渐行渐远。你站立在小路的这一端，看着他逐渐消失在小路转弯的地方，而且，他用背影告诉你：不必追。----《目送》) Since we are a child, we kept struggling going out even not turning back and watch for a time. It is because we know that there must be the firm and selfless love behind us to support us, so we are accustomed to take it for granted. Moreover, for me, when I am outside, I always try to be a good student, a kind friend, even dreaming to be a good wife in the future, but I am not consider to be a good daughter at all. When I call my mother, I am always not willing to tell her many things happened around me because I think we have a deep gap and she cannot truly understand me. It is not until in Thursday I sent a bouquet to her, she was so moved and showed off to all her colleagues. When I called her and told her some very simple things happened around me, she was so excited. Actually, I have never thought that even a very simple thing can make her so happy. I feel so guilty and regretful for what I have done before. Maybe when we are middle aged, we will possess all the wealth, reputation and status we keep pursuing. However, when we calm down, we probably find that our parents are old, our children are struggling to escape from us, our friends are estranged with us, our relatives are busying to run their lives. I, a person that be thought have possessed everything, just have inability to keep them stay and just leave a long gaze on their back. When we grow up day by day, we always ignore something precious. I just want to say, as their children, at least during the days of our parents, we should try to keep in touch frequently with them instead of making them leave a long gaze on us. Actually, there is a video moving me for a long time, just share with you:http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjM5NjU3MjQ=.html
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it is a great vedio. but here is not a right place to comment on a whatever vedio. we are drifting away from our parents every minute. we are curious about outside of the world, but maybe actually it is not worth it. everything which used to be new would become old sooner or later. we will one day feel tired about our journey. we will come back home to find that parents are already gone. we sit still in an empty home. we whimper. we remember. at the same time, outside the room, our children are on their way to discover the world. life is a round like this, which may be a little sad but inevitable.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is very moved. Fortunately, we realize that the most important people for us in the world are our parents before we lose them. Similar to you I also do something for my mother on mothers' day. I booked a bunch of flowers as well as spent 11 hours making the video clips for my parents and two days uploading it. Although I know mum won't care about the material gifts, these actions are more to make myself satisfied. When I made the video，the smiling faces of my parents came into my mind. They motivated me and I sat there doing the work for more than 4 hours without any food and drink. I enjoyed the concentration very much. By the way, thank you for introducing the movie-making programme to me.
ReplyDeleteThe poem is really moving, especially the Chinese version! It just struck me that we are moving apart and we will no longer see each other as frequent as we used to.I am actually frightened when I count how many times I could see my parents.However, there is no way to go back. This is the process of our life.
ReplyDeleteThe simple things in life that happen to you daily tell a lot about you to your Mother. Never underestimate her ability to sense and understand you, long distance. She brought you to the world. She may even be able to read you better than you can read yourself.
ReplyDeleteHer love for you makes her want to know every little bit of incident in your life. So I would encourage you to open up to her so that she will not have to guess what is happening to you.
I think this is the cost of our growth. We need to face the loneliness and homesickness when we are away from our parents because we have to grow up and creat the bright future by ourselves. Our parents feeling are conflicting as us because they do not want to leave us, but they also want us to be successful and independent. What we need to do is to try our best to study and and work to make ourselves strong and do not let our parents down.
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